Diary Of A Hollywood Refugee

Sunday, April 17, 2005

You Know Your From Toronto When

A really great parking spot can move you to tears.
You can recommend about 3 good body piercing parlours.(*and 3 great parts of your body to pierce)
You make well over $100,000 and you still can't find a nice place to live.
You realize there are far more rainbow flags in the city than Canadian Flags.
When the temperature rises above zero degrees, you yell "Woohooo! Patio weather!"(*Absofuckinglutely right!)
You enjoy watching channel 47 multicultural TV
You're guaranteed to know at least one person on every episode of Speaker's Corner.(*Do family members count??)
You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator. (*Shudders)
You've had at least 3 bicycles stolen in the past 10 years.(*No but I KNOW someone who has)
You've partied with at least one of the members of The Kids in the Hall
You've fantasized about having sex in Casa Loma (*ONLY fantasized??*whistles*)
At least 3 of your friends have moved to Vancouver (*4 but who's counting?!)
You turn your nose up at any establishment frequented by the S&M crowd -Scarborough and Mississauga
You never, never, never swim in the lake
You know "The Beaches" are really called "The Beach", but still say "The Beaches" just to annoy all the nitwits who live there (*heheheh)
You ever had a birthday party at the Organ Grinder or The Mad Hatter (*and they're still talking about it!!)
You can say "world's tallest freestanding structure" ten times fast
You know the correct answer to "Where do shopping carts go to die?" is "The Don River"
You speak better Chinese than French
The word "cabbagetown" doesn't strike you as particularily amusing
CastleFrank subway station remains one of the great mysteries of the universe for you.
You know what the bathrooms in the First Canadian Place are REALLY for (*I'll never tell)
You don't know where Fort York is, but have a vague recollection of being there in a past life (*with Shirley MacLaine)
You know the Demic's song "I Wanna Go To New York City" was intended as sarcasm, not a weekend getaway suggestion (*Ooopppsss!)
You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight (*And spare batteries!)
For the last time, it's pronounced 'TRONNA'!
You consider eye contact a sign of hostility and an invasion of your privacy.
It takes you half an hour to get to work by TTC and you are the envy of all your friends. (*or less)
You mourned the death of the Spadina Bus. (*Im still wearing black!!)
You know someone who went to high school with at least one member of The Barenaked Ladies or RUSH (*or had sex with them))
You laugh heartily at people who refer to highway four hundred and one. (*ROFLMAO)
You've taken the vomit comit.
You can maneuver your bike across Queen st. without getting caught in the streetcar tracks.
You know the difference between souvlaki, moussaka and spanakoptia. (*pass the Ouzo!)
You can name at least three locations of The Beer Store that are open till 11 PM.
You have NEVER been to the Hard Rock Cafe
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Toronto.

Thanx to Mustang 23 for the link!


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