Diary Of A Hollywood Refugee

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Celebs, Suits, and Gawkers, Oh My !!

They were all in town...Freddy, Eva, Susan, Guy, Madonna, Orlando, Heath, Maggie, Keira, Charlize, Kate, Johnny, Pierce, Colin, and Kevin, Reese, Gwyeth,and way too many more to name. I looked around and for a moment felt disoriented...where was I??? The lack of palm trees is a sure sign I wasn't in LA...inhale... close eyes ....exhale.... open eyes.....ah yes....I' m in Yorkville, in downtown Toronto, and this is the annual Tinseltown invasion aka as The Toronto Film Festival.

Films, food, parties, booze, schmoozing and star gazing- for ten long days Toronto is turned into Tinseltown minus the palm trees. The temps hit record highs and the sun was shining on the stars who didn't wait until dark to come out!

Several of my friends - yes I do have friends in Hollywood - albeit not all of them share the same view on certain world events- had come into town for the festival. Between movie screenings and "see or be seen" parties, we managed to spend some quality time clothes shopping, shoe shopping, and sipping on cosmo's!

Let me take a moment to give you an example of the difference between my friends and others in Hollywood: At the Emmy's- a show deliberately slanted towards an anti Bush agenda (as evident by the clips many actors chose to air when their nominations were read) -one actress -Ms Paltrow's Mom- chose to make one kind of statement " to our kids in Iraq - let's get you the hell out of there now".

Yet another actresss - Ms.Arquette- simply said " To our guys in Iraq - I know your there and Im over here...(she paused- clearly collecting her thoughts) but WHEN you come home.... I hope you come home safe".Eloquent, poignant, spontaneous, heartfelt, and didn't smack of ANY political leaning. If only her many fellow thespians would take note! This is also an example of how my friends feel: When our troups come home......let them come home safe!

While I chose to skip the annual CityTv schmoozefest held the first Friday of the film festival to celebrate the Canadian film that is chosen to open the festival( which was" Fire"by acclaimed director Deepa Mehta - who I used to work for) I did attend the benefit hosted by Kate Hudson at the Distillery, and Norman Jewisons annual "Picnic" held at his Canadian Film Center-a private home turned Film School on a huge piece of property. The event is held outdoors with tents set up that house the food and alot tables under the sun to sit and schmooze - it's "earthy" not pretentious, even the celebs act normal!

Beyond that, I enjoyed "quiet" dinners with my friends, as quiet as a restaurant crowded with celebs, suits, socialites, and gawkers can be. But mostly, I fended off questions:

"So when is your self imposed exile from Hollywood going to end?"
(what part of NEVER does everyone not understand?)

"You LEFT the biz??? Why???" ( I hear the strains of "Hotel California" running through my head ..." you can check out but you can never leave")
I know leaving the "biz" is unthinkable at worst and scary at best....but trust me...there is LIFE beyond "the biz" - besides now I get all the perks and NONE of the problems!

"Who does your hair colour....it's awesome"
(Thank you..my colourists name is "Ms.Clair All") Okay Im joking..I do have a colourist, stylist and wardrobe consultant - oh hell -you can take this girl out of Hollywood-but you can't Hollywood out of this girl (*grin*)

"Are those Manohalas or Jimmy Choo?"
(Do they design EVERY pair of 4 inch stilettos??)

"Can you believe the studio was so cheap they only gave me a Town Car??"
(damn..lifes a bitch!)

"You LEFT the biz??"( it's an oft repeated question so I thought I'd repeat it!)
(yupp..hard to believe...a moment of insanity prevailed...what was I thinking??")

"Can you believe my publicist had to pay $400 for a table at the Skylounge so I could do interviews to promote my small inde film?"
(Be grateful you're not an "A" list celeb...their publicists had to pay $1500 for the same table!)
Ooops - nothing like pointing out a reality most actors can't face up to...NOT being on the "A" list anymore!!

Dawn Steele wrote about her life in Hollywood as a powerful Studio president and producer, in a book called "They Can Eat You For Lunch, But They Can't Kill You" and while they can't literally kill you, in a business where people make you feel bad so they can feel good, they can sure kill your spirit. It may not always be easy to handle success in Hollywood, but its even more challenging to handle failure.

In a very funny piece written by Mireille Silcoff - she described one social animal in our midst- "Mad Celebrity, 2005 Edition".

Natural habitat: The tabloids
Average age: 27

Was once a "buxom beauty" (code for downright porky) before becomig "svelte"(read"deathly skeletal")

Recently seen going into a fertility clinic in London ("the hot place to plan your baby!") but no sign of a "bump"yet, though "insiders" say the the MC/05 has already "ordered 3000 gallons of Fiji water" to fill her Mailbu swimming pool for an underwater delievery ("the hottest way to have your baby!")

But WHO is the loving father? The MC/05 has been sending out mixed messages through cute cropped T-shirts, including the now classic "I'll have your baby, Brad" (has since made a public apology to Jen) and the more recent and infinitely dumber "Colin is Irish for Greek god".

Some think the baby rumour is the MC/05 trying to divert attention from the obviously surgically amplified breast she bared "by accident" at the Golden Globes while slaughtered on OxyContini and alcopops two weeks after her actor beau of 3 months dumped her-they were "really serious" (translation: was caught "heavily canoodling" with a nanny in St.Tropez.)

Denies any connection to Scientology.

Denies she fired her manager because the Scientology Center forced her to do so!

Denies that maybe she had a little nip of OxyContin("Drugs are in my past!") before doing the "stirring the pot" dance on Oprah's sofa for a full minute after being asked how she 's doing these days.

Photographed perplexingly often in LA supermarket parking lots, barefoot, and carrying a large coffee beverage.

Must run...my stylist is waiting for me....air kisses, kids....love you*waves* love your lifestyle CIAO!