Diary Of A Hollywood Refugee

Friday, June 10, 2005

May The Jerk Be With You

There are many battles being fought in Iraq. But none more challenging, or more important than the one that Mustang 23 is facing against those that would prevent him from re uniting with his beloved "BEEF JERKY".

Not such a long long time ago, in land far far away, in a strange strange world known as "The Blogosphere", our hero, Luke Stangwalker, teamed up with a group of rebels (a motley, but dedicated crew) to save his beloved "Beef Jerky" from the evil clutches of "Darth Jerknazi"

Soon young Stangwalker would meet with his spiritual master Obi-OneWiththeJerky in order to prepare for the greatest challenge of his life; a battle that would rage on indefinately and come to be known as "The Jerky Wars"

"May The Jerk Be(ef) With You" would come to be whispered in hushed voices by Stangwalkers band of rebels, known as "The Jerki", as they gathered from the far reaches of the blogosphere, to be united on Planet WhereTheHellRWeAgain?

A battle of insults, taunts, and strange pictures, was being waged......and it seemed that the Jerki would succumb to the Jerknazi.... especially after a rather bizarre pic of Luke Stangwalker was circulated throughout the Blogosphere. But all was not lost.....because.......

The Jerky Strikes Back!

.............The Adventure Continues!

It is a dark time for The Jerki and jerky lovers scattered throughout the distant lands of the strange sands....... Although many carepackages have been destroyed, a group of jerky lovers led by Luke Stangwalker have evaded the dreaded Jerknazi fleet, and established a new secret base within the blogsphere.

The evil lord Darth Jerknazi, who remains obsessed with finding young Stangwalker, Princess Huntress(oh you KNEW that was coming!!) and the Jerki rebels, is also hellbent on destroying the huge cache of Beef and Turkey Jerky hidden deep within the depths of Planet Icebox, and has now dispatched thousands of remote probes and his own motley crew into the far reaches the blogosphere in search of our brave band of heros......The Jerki!

The outnumbered yet fearless Jerki warriors, knew that no evil Jerknazi would ever stand between them and their mission... They would rescue the Jerk!

Their battle was righteous....and the Jerki would be victorious...but when doubt would creep into the somewhat strange mind of their fearless leader....he could be heard talking to himself "I can do it....I can do it....... For My ally is The Jerky...and a powerful ally it is"

Remembering what Yoda had taught him "There is no can or cannot....there is only The Jerky", Stangwalker found a reserve of inner courage right beside a box of cookies.....and he knew that only he could do what no man would dare to do: Rescue Princess Huntress from the palace of Pizza the Hutt, pick up some more cookies.....and make a remarkable comeback in......

The Return of the Jerki........

The Jerknazi Falls