Diary Of A Hollywood Refugee

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Risky Business

I have to wonder how some of the world's most popular actors are so unconvincing in their real life roles.

Before I left on the "Murder She Wrote-Mystery at Sea" cruise, another Cruise was sinking faster than the Titanic.

I am of course, referring to Tom Cruise, who was making the "talk show rounds" that celebs do prior to the release of their latest film, tv show, or cd.

Spielberg, hoping to bounce back from his last "Terminal"(ly) dead film, with the mega pricey "War of The Worlds", could not have anticipated the meltdown of one of Hollywood's most bankable stars.

Tom has spent the better part of his career denying rumours of his sexuality, mostly out of fear that his box office revenue would dwindle, yet he spent the better part of this press tour acting like a fucking insincere fool!

Hey Tom:

Your over the top declarations of love for Katie Holmes on Oprah and Leno were so unbelievably insincere that it only served to bring up more questions about your sexuality!! Honestly at one point I almost expected you to shout out with glee "I stuck my penis in her gineeeey"

And engaging in discussions about subjects where your opinion is neither wanted nor valued; your attack of Brooke Shields (the former GERBER baby for heavens sake) and your jousting match with Matt Lauer debunking psychiatry and prescription medicine, while evangelizing about Scientology, only served to bring up questions about your SANITY!!

Did you REALLY expect that anyone outside of your immediate circle of "yes" men and handlers would believe your passionate attempt at convincing Billy Bush that you genuinely feel "responsibility because I care man, I care, I care about you, your children, these people in the room....and I mean it!"

Dude, if you thought your sexuality was going to negatively affect box office revenues, but that spouting out your badly written movie script to a rather savvy audience and evangelizing about Scientology was going to protect your box office clout...you were SOOOOOOOO wrong!

War of the Worlds F L O P P E D. BIG TIME.
Spielberg must thrilled with you!
I'm guessing when he tells the studio he wants Tom to star in his next film..... he'll mean Tom Hanks!!

Guess you didn't get the memo, Tom! You were supposed to be promoting "War of the Worlds" NOT engaging in war of the words with Matt Lauer! The movie was supposed to rescue Hollywood from the same meltdown you were publically having.

You really have no idea just how absofuckinglutely insincere you appear to Mr. and Mrs. America. Well... to be fair...not just you Tom, your buddy Russell Crowe with his lame apology to Nestor Estrada, and the self annoited prince of pop Michael "I am not a child molester" Jackson, are also oblivious to just how insincere they come across when trying to be "real".

Gawd Tom...All those people who kiss your ass..and not one of them could reign you in! Shheessh! Maybe you should REHIRE your former publicist, and pay close attention when told to shut up and smile! That might be the only way you prevent any futher " Collateral" damage.

I remember hearing someone comment on how Hollywood is the more powerful, more menancing and more ruinous of the two cults you belong to, Tom.

I think he may be right!

After, all, who better than you should know that even when you've got "All The Right Moves", Hollywood is still a "Risky Business".

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3 Comments:

  • At 5:47 PM, August 18, 2005, Blogger bloggerwood said…

    We CAN "handle the truth!" You're GAY! No sense in jumping all over everyone's furniture denying it.

     
  • At 9:58 PM, August 19, 2005, Blogger H2SO4 said…

    Nice...

    I hear Tom won the lead in the new thriller "The Village People - A Retrospective."

    He is to play the Biker Guy and the Indian Chief.

    Rumor has it they are trying to get Anthony Edwards to play the Construction Worker, in a Top Gun reunion, but he is having none of it.

     
  • At 12:22 AM, September 17, 2005, Blogger Al's Girl said…

    I loved this entry!! It was rampant with metaphors. Wish he would have taken your advice to heart - it's now September and TomKat train wreck is still going full throttle!

     

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